The Fine Art of Telling a Customer to F Off

无论餐饮业有什么明显的困难，公众仍然需要像我这样的人提供削片机和迅速的服务。在在线评论中，“不如大流行不如之前的大流行”一词，仿佛只需要简单地振作起来，摆脱它并立即重新上班。

But remember, we are desperate. So no matter what the guest throws our way, we just smile, apologize (if necessary) and say, "Yes!"

等等，什么？

有关的：It Is Time to Rethink Danny Meyer's 'Setting the Table'

我们应该在我们的集体心理中根深蒂固，我们应该对完全陌生的人虐待？为什么经理，所有者和员工太吓呆了，无法站起来？在所有的恐惧，怀疑和绝望之中，我们是否失去了自我价值感？

Allow me to remind you, comrades, that you are in control! You are beautiful! Your restaurant is your home. That means your rules.

It is time that we said "enough is enough" to those who conflate service with servitude. When pushed too far, we should reach deep into our recipe book for an old classic: by combining a little dash of poise, two splashes of vigor, and a twist of charm, we can and should occasionally say, "f@$k off."

有关的：客户并不总是正确的

I am not literally advocating for you to start flipping the bird to your tables. The goal is to look more carefully at the exceedingly blurry line between honoring the guest and maintaining clear boundaries to curtail unacceptable behavior. How we approach this dilemma will reshape the meaning of hospitality in the modern era of restaurants.

We should start by acknowledging the sad truth that we cannot change how other people behave in restaurants. Focusing our efforts here is a frustrating and demoralizing waste of time. Instead, we should channel our energy into improving how we manage ourselves and the difficult situations we encounter.

Setting boundaries is about refining your product design and marketing strategy as much as it is about self-defense. Restaurants often make the mistake of trying to be everything to everyone, appeasing the customer at all costs. However, successful marketing is not about finding as many customers as you can. It is about having a laser-focused quality product that is built to attract as many of theright客户尽可能。这是一个很难，但至关重要的决定，将某些人拒之门外，以优化您的业务，以您的真实意义优化您的业务。

有关的：I've Been a Waiter for Almost 35 Years and I'm Proud of It

考虑一下：我是波士顿一家餐厅的合伙人和总经理，很久以前，在一个遥远的流行星系中，一个聚会却遭到了我的服务器之一，因为他们很难理解她的口音。他们使她流泪。在他们拒绝我道歉的要求之后，我礼貌地坚持要他们收拾行装并离开餐厅。

On paper, these people were worth accommodating. They live locally, they dine at the restaurant frequently, they have money, and of course, they would slander us. It would have been easy to take the table myself or reassign it to another server. But then what? Enabling this behavior would impact the way I was perceived by my employees and send a clear message that my team was secondary to a few dollars and a bad review.

You know what happened? The guests on either side of their table clapped as we escorted them outside. It turns out that everyone in the vicinity was offended by their deplorable behavior. It was a beautiful thing to see fellow customers rise up in support of the restaurant.

I am not flaunting heroics. but I am proud of this moment.

I would argue that the decision to kick them out enhanced our brand equity and corporate culture. Cutting off thewrongcustomer should not be seen as turning away business. Rather, it is a strategic decision to solidify company values, increase staff morale, and maintain product-market fit. A well-allocated "f off" is a net financial positive, not a loss.

请记住,显示门是一个一个的人bsolute last resort. The desired outcome is always customer retention. The biggest difference is how we get there. Instead of bowing and profusely apologizing regardless of the circumstance, we can resolve conflict and build stronger guest relationships on equal footing.

The bulk of the change is psychological. It is as simple as finding the humility to take critical feedback but also having the confidence to respectfully dialogue about the restaurant's perspective when fielding an unfounded guest complaint.

那么，我们如何真正这样做呢？我开发的是四步指南，讲述了如何在服务位置站起来，而无需为您的餐厅牺牲经济和声誉价值。这不是一门完美的科学，而且当然并不总是那么容易。将其视为“ F Off”的美术。

This might be hard to hear, but the truth is that most guest complaints are legitimate, even if they are presented obnoxiously. Pushing back against guest entitlement only works if people are, in fact, being entitled.

If your restaurant is routinely receiving complaints, I am sorry to report that you have a product design issue, not a guest issue. Do not ignore the data because you dislike what it says. Additionally, it is always the responsibility of ownership to provide the proper resources and training to help their staff perform adequately and when necessary, navigate difficult customer interactions.

At the same time, we should consider the possibility that some people are just awkward, or they communicate differently. Perhaps they thought you were being rude.

发生误解。我从个人经验中说，我自己的社交焦虑品牌可以被视为从不赞成到冷漠的任何事物。只是我有秘密的惊恐发作。

当然，焦虑不是行为不良的借口。但是，关键是，太多的经理和员工收取了对他们将遇到的所有可怕客人的预先担忧。这种心态是有毒的。

这包括放弃任何形式的不必要的讽刺或被动攻击性。胜利不属于最大声或最讨厌的人。

对于客人来说，这也是如此。顾客提高声音，诅咒或入侵个人空间绝不适合。说：“我不允许您发誓或向我提高声音，这绝对没有错。”如果他们不愿意遵守人类礼节的要求，Sayonara Dude！

I know that verbal smackdown you have been rehearsing in the mirror seems like it would be so gratifying to unleash. But who looks silly in the grocery store? The parent who gets angry at a screaming child or a parent who calmly and methodically delivers an ultimatum to their kid? Let the person who is acting inappropriately embarrass themselves, not you.

Invite and embrace constant criticism. Always own your mistakes. When someone leaves you a bad review or they complain, get in there to find out what happened. Extend the olive branch and they will be extremely likely to listen when you finally speak.

这不适用于威胁，仇恨或暴力的客户。这些人不值得追求，因为他们对建立健康的关系不感兴趣。

Lay out the case for what the customer does not fully appreciate or cannot see from their point of view. It is not a fight or even a debate. Do not make excuses either. You are simply sharing information. Remember that you are a fully competent professional engaging in a respectful conversation. Get it out of your head that you are a groveling humble servant.

如果您被迫保持纪录，那么冷计算的交付将更加有效，令人印象深刻，并且老实说，更糟糕的是。想想乌玛·瑟曼（Uma Thurman）杀死比尔(just nonviolent of course). As they say, revenge is a dish best served cold.

在大流行,我收到几l negative reviews citing service issues that were directly related to COVID dining restrictions. It was so frustrating to see guests publicly blame us for issues beyond our control.

My initial reaction was likely the same as yours: "f off!"

But for once, I followed my own advice. I contacted the reviewers to solicit their honest feedback. I listened carefully; forcing myself to absorb any and all culpability for their perceived service failure. After thanking them for their opinion, I calmly and respectfully stated my claim. Something to the effect of:

“我认为您需要更好地考虑我们在此操作环境中处理的内容，”和“根据这些情况对您进行判断并不完全公平。”总是以：“帮我一个忙，直接在您准备回来时直接与我联系，我很乐意向您展示我们的一切。”

没有补充，没有烦恼，没有免费的摊牌。只是真诚的对话。一个人。

我有衷心的道歉吗？不。但是感觉很好，至少有少数人知道现在在餐厅工作所需的东西。也许他们会在下一次访问时将其带到他们身边。在此之前，我将让您管理其余的。